Reflection Paper I, January 3, 2011
EYM/2011 Ears to Hear Chapter 13, ISAIAH
Just like author Ed Little, reflecting in Ears to Hear, I too have been transformed (am still being transformed) by the experience of Call. At chapter 13’s end, he asks: What brings you most powerfully into an awareness of the Holy God? …. People who reflect God’s holiness?
For many years now, I have repeatedly had this experience: an awareness of God’s limitless power and personhood, directed to me, accompanied by a simultaneous response on my part of humility/craving for health and stewardship.
In November 2010, as God directed my zealous and far-ranging OT studies, for about a week I “lost” my faith entirely. That “loss” unglued my normally-confident/accurate sense of what I need to do next. So I shrugged, kept reading, and decided quite purposefully to keep praying, whether there was a God or not– who else did I think was going to help me, I laughingly wondered?
My studies at that time were the prophets. Isaiah, which I was in at the time, was soon followed by a whole slew of major prophets (and my studies continued to expand majorly as well). As I “boogied on,” I found myself actually enjoying Discovery of Gifts in the midst of all that, despite personal brokenness related to the path upon which those prayers took me that week….
Today’s studies brought me to Ezekiel 36:26-28. The notes I took for this paper in November now seem far less relevant than the message that came to me today, which impelled me to drop everything and write THIS paper NOW. (RIGHT now– not stopping for ANYthing except to fish the keyboard out from its clergy-household tangle of wires.)
That message/continuing reflection unfolding is that (after a profoundly disturbing “loss of faith”) I still identify so strongly with the prophets I’ve been studying– they who were entirely unable to resist THEIR Call. Thus I can know that THERE MUST BE GOD. And I can also know that by any definition, God is still God and we are not.
In all my studies so far, about these people who went before us, I see over and over that for whatever reason they wrote, edited, arranged, and canonoized Scripture– ALL these people on whose shoulders my weight stands agree that:
- God is real in their lives;
- God is bigger than the sum of all our human parts,
- We– each person and all humankind in totality– are not God.
There is only one logical and humane response to THAT– (“I could have had a V8!”)–!!!ALLELUIA!!!