I have been married to an Episcopal priest since 1992.
In the Greek Orthodox church, the “Presbytera” (the other half of the consecrated priest) is a non-ordained but understood-as-holy minister. I try to be… My marriage vows included the commitment: “I will, with God’s help.”
I lead the music for our parish’s Saturday Night Service (FMI: http://www.stpaulswellsboro.org). Some people say my ministry is diaconal. All I know is, God’s in charge– of all of me, to the best I understand and allow this.
My “secular” ministries have been about empowerment and encouragement, whether out in front or behind the scenes. I tend to find that our Lord calls me to fill gaps for which he has been quietly equipping me.